Yesterday, whilst floating in the pool with the kiddos, Star and I had a fun conversation. She asked me who’s belly Uncle Chef came out of and I told her Grandma’s belly.
After staring at me for several seconds, she crunched up her face and yelled, “Grandma was PREGNANT?”
I quickly looked around at the other pool patrons because this kind of shit gets around quickly in the homeowners association before telling her yes, Grandma was pregnant with Uncle Chef when he was a baby. Out of the corner of my eye I saw an OC Mom (with the balloon breasts and tummy-tucked waist) eye-balling me. I know she was wondering if I was about to have The Sex conversation with my four year old right there at the pool in front of her Little Precious. I could almost see the stink in her eye.
But no, Star went in a totally different direction.
She calmly explained to me that I was wrong. In fact, Uncle Chef must have come out of Auntie Wit’s belly. You know- Chef’s WIFE. Because she’s pregnant every couple of years? I’m not sure of the logic there. I told her no. She told me yes. Wit- who is four years younger than Chef- must be his Mom.
I’m going to give her points for out-Freuding Freud and then try to forget this conversation ever happened.




